


And I'm tired of fighting it

by lola381pce



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, NSFW, Philinda Bingo, Spoilers, spoilers for Agents of SHIELD S:02 E:02 'Heavy is the Head'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lola381pce/pseuds/lola381pce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back at the Playground, Skye confides in May that she thinks something is wrong with Coulson. After brushing off Skye's concerns, May heads to Coulson's office. Something is wrong with him, as May knows he's overdue for another "episode"  and confronts him about it which leads to a whole different confession to the one she was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I'm tired of fighting it

**Author's Note:**

> *SPOILERS* This story is based on the May/Coulson office scene in ‘Heavy is the Head’ S02:E02 but takes a very different course from Director Coulson writing on the wall.
> 
> This was originally posted on my Tumblr blog (lola381pce.tumblr.com) for Philinda Bingo on Fuckyeahphilinda which is run by ddagent.
> 
> As always, the characters belong to Marvel and I'm just amusing myself with them. Thanks so much for reading. I'd love for you to leave a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it (or not).

**gif source** : themse09

 

“And I’m tired of fighting it.”

“So don’t. That’s what I’m here for.”

He looked so sad; so wounded and exhausted. Melinda stood up from the desk and gave Coulson a reassuring pat on the shoulder as she went past to set up the camera. All she really wanted to do was pull him out of the seat and hold him to her, tell him everything was going to be okay. But she didn’t, she couldn’t; she didn’t know any better than he did if things were going to be okay. Sometimes she caught glimpses of the old Phil that gave her hope but more often he was like this - scared, lost and alone. But it wouldn’t be fair of her to touch him any more than briefly on the shoulder, to take advantage of him when all he needed was comfort and the assurance that she had his back…always. He couldn’t fight the hypergraphia and her so she sighed gently and pressed the button on the remote to close the blinds in his office and began to set up the camera to record the hieroglyphs he would carve into the wall. 

He sat still for a moment, his mouth turned down as he fought the emotions that were threatening to burst through the surface of his normally calm façade. He welcomed her touch, god how he needed it but he wished it had been more. He so desperately wanted to be held by her, to hold her back. But it was wrong of him, selfish even, to want something more from her when she was already giving him everything she could. Decision made, he dropped his feet from the desk, breathed in and tugged the knot of his tie loose. He unfastened the button on his shirt collar pulling it open wincing slightly as his fingers caught; that done, he leaned over and untied his shoes, slipping them off along with his socks leaving his feet bare. Finally Coulson stood up and walked towards May where he stopped. He didn’t continue to the wall as she thought he would. He stopped in front of her and held out his hand.

She looked up at him and frowned slightly as if to ask ‘What are you doing?’

“I’m not fighting it any more. Give me your hand.”

She looked at him carefully trying to determine if it was him, her Phil, or if it was something else…the something that took over. His eyes were clear and his face, while not relaxed, was softer nothing like the way he became when the mania took hold. Curious, she straightened up from what she was doing and did as he asked.

In words that almost echoed her own he whispered, “I can’t fight it and my feelings for you…and I choose you.” Gently he took her finger tips and raised them to his lips where he began to kiss them softly, lovingly. Her mouth opened slightly in a silent gasp as her eyes closed at the tenderness he showed her, that she had long hoped he would show her. 

“Phil…”she murmured.He leaned down brushing his nose against her cheek followed by his lips ghosting against the soft, velvety skin until he reached her ear. She shivered as he mouthed her earlobe nipping it gently with his teeth. His hands rested on her hips, holding her carefully as though not to break her.

She placed her hands on his chest feeling his nipples hardening beneath his shirt against her palms and leaned into his embrace as his own hands slid round from her hips to the small of her back, pressing her spine, gentle but insistent. She raised her face to him and moaned as his mouth covered hers and he began to kiss her, softly at first becoming more intense the longer it continued. His lips parted slightly inviting her in which she did willingly, eagerly; the tip of her tongue finding his sending a charge through them both. He drew her in deeper as her fingers tousled his hair scratching his scalp. His right hand cupped the back of her head as his left squeezed her hip. She stepped even closer to him rubbing her mound against his hardening cock forcing a strangled groan from him. He dropped his hand to the front of her leggings and pressed his palm against her, her breath hitching as he slowly massaged her though the material.

“Phil…” she said again but more urgently thrusting against his hand. He could feel her heat and wetness; she was ready for him and she wanted him. Fuck! how he wanted her. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to his desk where he gently set her down.

She tore at his tie pulling the knot out throwing it to the side, then started on the buttons of his shirt cursing into his mouth as her normally steady hands fumbled as she tried to get them undone.

He pushed the folders and desk accessories away from her barely caring as they hit the floor, all save the pen-holder, then started on her buttons. His hands were equally clumsy in his haste. “Fuck it!” he muttered and with little ceremony, pulled it over her head.

“So romantic!” And she snorted at the absurdity of the pair of them, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a Senior Agent, acting like horny teenagers when things were turning to shit around them. But the need to touch, the need to have him inside her took over everything. The darkness could wait. And he obviously agreed.

“Screw romantic. I want to feel your skin, right now.”

“Is that an order, Director Coulson?”

“Damn it May, get naked,” he commanded in an exasperated tone and moved back from her to unfasten his cuffs and pull off his own shirt.

“Yes, sir!” May toed off her boots and stripped out of her leggings and underwear. Coulson paused in his own efforts and looked at her with predatory look in his eyes. She was exquisite. He knew this was wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this with her. She was there for him, she’d always had his back even when he didn’t realise it or understand it. And he didn’t want to jeopardise that, ever. But he needed to touch her again, to bury his face in her hair, to smell her.

“Jump to it, Director.” Her voice broke him out of his trance and he smiled at her while unfastening his buckle snapping the belt from the loops in his pants, dropping it to the floor; his pants and briefs followed the belt almost immediately leaving Coulson in all his naked glory.

May dropped her eyes to his crotch and licked her lips; it had been a long time since she’d seen him like this and he was still impressive. She looked up again catching him staring at her. His cock while not fully erect was certainly aware of May’s interest and began to twitch as though nodding in approval. Coulson held her gaze and reached down take a hold of his dick stroking it in long, slow movements. May raised an eyebrow trying to act indifferent while in reality she was incredibly turned on by his actions; her heart rate increased and her pupils began to dilate as she watch his cock fill out in his hand while he stroked his shaft. Involuntarily she licked her lips again and moved her hand between her legs feeling her wetness spread over her fingers.

Coulson paused for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. Fuck! she was gorgeous like this; her eyes half shut, her mouth slightly open, her head back as her hand moved slowly backwards and forwards rubbing against her clit pushing down on it making her gasp. He hadn’t intended this, hadn’t expected anything  _like_  this but he needed it;  _they_  needed it.

His eyes made contact with hers, their gazes locked. May held open her arms inviting him to her and as he neared her she saw that his eyes were black, the pupils had blown completely. They were back in each other’s arms, mouths hungrily devouring, hands running over feverish skin, cock against pussy; teasing, rubbing, thrusting – all of it causing groans of pleasure and hurried, ragged breaths.

Once again Coulson lifted her up onto her desk.  She wrapped her legs round his waist and held on to his shoulders gasping as he sank his cock into her. He groaned as he entered feeling the heat and wetness swallowing him all the way down his shaft to the root. He moved slowly but deeply pulling back until he was almost out then pushing all the way in. She let him lead then began to moved in time with him building up a rhythm harder and faster until they were brutally slamming against each other with each thrust. Sweat was running down their bodies in thin rivulets, pooling between them.

The little sounds she made as they fucked were driving him wild, a cross between a whimper and a sigh, he wasn’t sure he could describe it but it made him growl possessively. He didn’t want to hurt her but he wanted to hear more of those sounds and so he gripping her hips tightly as he moved forward and leaned in so that his mouth was against her ear as he pulled it into his mouth to suck on it his teeth scraped the soft skin causing her to make more of the noises he craved. He could feel her tightening around him, her body tensing and so he whispered, his voice low and raw, “Come for me, Melinda.”

It broke her pulling her over the edge and when it happened, as the orgasm took her, it was explosive; she bit down on his shoulder, her nails digging into his skin, her vision blurring.  And that final keening noise she made as her muscles pulsed round his cock was all the encouragement he needed and with a few more thrusts he came groaning between his teeth, jerking as emptied into her. She pulled him close holding him tight as he shuddered from the aftershocks, her legs still wrapped round him.

She looked into his face, and what she saw made her heart soar; he was smiling, that that beautiful, boyish smile which crinkled the corner of his eyes and his eyes themselves were sparkling; he was happy. The weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, if only for a few moments, and he was happy.


End file.
